Isolation hell or solitude heaven?

Isolation hell or solitude heaven? by Kay Laurence | Apr 14, 2020 Strange times often give birth to new insights and understanding. Certainly a new aspect of empathy as we experience social situations that may not be of our choice. It takes me no difficulty to imagine a lockdown may be hell for one person and heaven for another. Perhaps the feelings we are experiencing can be used to bring understanding, and more empathy, for our dogs? Isolation may be a lifestyle choice for one person, where solitude allows for their particular personality to be comfortable. We use the terms “comfortable with their own company”, or “self-entertaining”. For another person the sense of exclusion from their friends, family and opportunities to integrate can be pure hell. Most of us enjoy a balance of the two, where we can choose to integrate a certain times of choose to walk in isolation with dogs for company. The key point here is “choose”. We choose what company to keep, when and for how long and in what format. Those choices are rarely experienced by dogs that are forced into social situations of their owner’s preferences. A passing social cartoon sparked this thinking. The guy was running to the window to see the rubbish collection. Not something he would have ever normally considered the highlight of his day, or a reason to leave a comfortable chair. He had empathy for his dog – who runs to the window at every sound to check out the events in the street. When you are forced into isolation, the small events that would never have had significance bloom into necessary engagement. That engagement may be a desperate need for interaction or an alarm of potential threat. That dog that seems so “friendly” with all dogs desperately needing some interaction because of living in forced isolation ? Is the dog comfortably friendly, or is this just a need as a result of the isolation for the other 23 hours of his day? Has your view of social events taken a change because your choices have been removed or are you able to adapt your social needs to a different format? A two meter social gap could suit us perfectly or be a frustration. Acceptable queuing distances have changed, possibly permanently. Our awareness and understanding is in a learning phase. Perhaps we are realising that our social norms were just something we were used to, but not really aware of the risks? Social distancing for dogs is normal . They do not choose to hug, stand closely to strangers and would never subscribe to queuing. Isolation by choice is quite different to isolation out of necessity. If we know that

everyone is experiencing the same conditions we can cope with this separation. But consider that we are the only ones forced to miss out on the events we normally enjoy and those events are continuing without us. The dog show, the classes, the wedding, the party – all happening and we have been excluded. The isolation then begins to stink. A dog can enjoy social isolation in their own small world. Provided their needs are met, companionship that doesn’t drive them under the sofa, opportunities to play, sniff, hunt, enjoy food, chewing, comfort and good sleep. Their stress may be entirely in the outside world, where they are forced into social situations not of their choice, doing activities they find stressful and simply being away from home causes an anxiety they cannot resolve until they have their own car. A dog can find social isolation pure hell. Where their physical needs are met but they never get to play, run, enjoy the wind, hunt with company. Being home alone is an exclusion from everything they enjoy. The weekly rubbish collection is their moment of extreme desperation for interaction. The conditions we find ourselves in can be turned into opportunities for discovery, learning new skills, creativity and adaptations that we had never imagined. Or quite the opposite. We are resilient as are dogs, but the elements that contribute to that resilience are not present for every person or every dog. Having a choice to enjoy solitude can make it a pleasure, having a choice who to socialise with, and at what distance is a right most of us enjoy. Becoming aware of our privileges should make us more sensitive to the lack of privileges our dogs have to adapt to. Perhaps we can help them have a wider range of choices where we can. She now has an appretice to learn her skills Explore COURSES All courses learn well learn it once Key Reading You did everything right but …. But it still hasn’t worked out, even after 6 years? Yeah, it can be disappointing, but at times even the “perfect” protocol, applied with accuracy can undo itself and we go around in the circle again. Read More Learning is not for spectators Are you an Active Learner? Or: Are you getting your money’s worth for online courses? It would not matter what subject we are talking about:... Read More Ear Myths There is a myth surrounding Border Collies that ear shape, coat colour or texture, and even eye colour are indicators of that dog’s personality,... Read More A View to a Kill? We often hear the claim that the Border Collie is exhibiting predatory behaviour on sheep. But are they really seeking

to kill? Read More The Need to Correct an Error When learning is littered with costly mistakes we will carry anxiety and avoidance. Errors are feedback. There should be no fear of error just opportunities to learn. Read More What Words Conceal The language across all kinds of media paints a picture of dogs and our relationships with them. Read More Do We Want Impulse Control? Teaching your Collie “impulse control” is the wrong way of thinking about their urges, and certainly an unhelpful way of dealing with them. Read More Collies : Masters at Laser Focus When we ask the dog to Be Collie and use all their inherited instincts, part of that package is the exclusion of stimulus irrelevant to that intense predatory focus. Read More Since the Dawn of Dog Training The old joke reminds us that the only thing dog trainers can agree on is that their training method in the best one. It becomes increasingly difficult to know which method is “right” and whether it will suit the dog, the situation and trainer’s skills. Read More Back to Basics? The word “basic” is often derided as synonymous with “shallow,” but in its origins it is the very opposite: foundational, profound, supportive. Read More Top Training Living well through movement “The purpose of learning is to get more or better rewards” W. Shultz Can we assume that the more we learn the more rewards we can enjoy? Often these... Read More What We Get Right About Dogs We can learn from remarkable people who have worked with remarkable dogs: training and learning are not the same thing at all. Read More Herding Games For All Dogs? The wrong herding game is like trying to make a tennis player succeed at football Read More Teaching People: more than rewards and reinforcers Familiarisation with the behaviourists’ models of reinforcement, punishment, shaping, extinction, can prevent us from looking outside the windows for either dogs or people … Read More Cognitive Approach for the Dogs Training is something done TO the dog. Learning that is something done FOR the dogs. Read More Location is Their Cue We begin teaching the dog to go to a target, such as a mat or platform and in this process our focus is on the outcome – the dog can place feet on the object or settle down. But at the same time this learning is happening the dog is also noting the location: where this is happening in this room, in the house, relative to the food-machine (you). Read More Cue Seeking is Connection Connection is very individual and to be authentic we have to observe, slow down, understand our dogs and meet them where they are. Read More

Back to Basics? The word “basic” is often derided as synonymous with “shallow,” but in its origins it is the very opposite: foundational, profound, supportive. Read More Do you see what I see Doing better is the reward from doing the work. This work needs to be the right work at the right time with the right intent done in the right way. Read More What’s Cooking? A Warning About Recipes Recipes for “training” dogs are so prevalent in how we live with and talk about them that their existence often goes unquestioned. Read More 3 Comments Chris Bond on 14th April 2020 at 10:01 pm Very insightful. A perfect time to remind us how powerfully choice weighs into an individual’s perception of an event. Lack of choice can result in an intended reinforcer becoming an aversive. We can choose to learn from our experiences and emotions during this pandemic, using that knowledge to improve our human empathy for our dogs and for all species that share this world. We can choose to create our own silver lining. Reply Theresa on 15th April 2020 at 12:16 pm I love to read my dog and read her decision. Reply Julie van Schie on 16th April 2020 at 11:10 pm It certainly is an interesting time and one I hope we use to reflect and learn from. We, us and our dogs, are wonderfully varied, if we can learn to see and understand this what a nicer world it will be. Thanks for another insightful article Kay. Reply Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment * Name * Email * Website Submit Comment Δ